Toronto, the Tedious Town?

Since no one’s getting any real work done today (college basketball fans, anyway), check out this article from the Toronto Star.  Recently, the Atlanta Braves’ Larry Chipper Jones had this to say about Toronto:

“It’s not exactly Las Vegas. To say that we were plucking our eyebrows out one at a time would be an understatement.”

As Toronto is more hockey-centric than anything else, I’m guessing that Chipper is not a hockey fan.

The article continues with mock diary entries supposedly penned by the close-minded third baseman.  I’m not usually one for stereotypes, but as a Nats fan, I ardently dislike Chipper and feel he was way off-base with his characterization of Toronto, so I thought it was pretty funny.  An excerpt:


More curlin’. Where is Curlin’ Team USA? What is `Manitoba’? Why is that ice so dirty it needs so much sweepin’? I promised myself that I would load up on local squirrel, but the telervision man promised that somebody was gonna get `The Hammer’. Finally, some action in Toranta.

Several local athletes expressed their opinions on the topic of Toronto.  (I only wish they had interviewed a Maple Leaf or two; I wonder if their opinions would have been different, seeing as how they’re under the microscope and all.)  Kris Humphries of the Raptors loves it:

“I don’t really know what Chipper is looking for in a city, but everything I’ve wanted to do here has been here, and tops with anything in the world.  It’s a great city.”

However, the Raptors’ Shawn Merion had the best perspective on Chipper’s words:

“Every city’s different … What city is like Vegas, though? Can you name one city in the country or the world that is like Vegas?”

Would any city really even want to be like Vegas?  In this economy, I don’t think even Vegas wants to be like Vegas.

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2 Responses to Toronto, the Tedious Town?

  1. capsf4n says:

    Exactly. Vegas doesn’t even have ice.

  2. ThunderWeenie says:

    As (I think) the only Torontonian who post here regularly….okay, semi-regularly….thanks for coming to our fair city’s defence, DCSC.
    And, by the way, we all knew that Chipper plucked his eyebrows. I’m sure that admitting that publicly is a big breakthrough for him.
    I’m sure his fellow Braves will appreciate his tips on waxing and shoe-shopping, too.

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