Answering the Distressed Hockey Husband

Some of you no doubt will have seen this before, but with last night’s dismal third period still shadowing so many of us, I thought a little levity from the email inbox in order.

 
Dear Abby,
I have never written to you before, but I really need your advice.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with ‘the girls’ a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, just some friends from work, you don’t know them.
I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her.

Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my hockey equipment so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with ‘the girls.’ When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my hockey gear, that I noticed a hairline crack where the blade meets the graphite shaft on my new one piece hockey stick.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it?

Sincerely,
Distressed in Ontario

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7 Responses to Answering the Distressed Hockey Husband

  1. Gmann says:

    That’s really funny. Well played!!

  2. NuftGoddess says:

    A much needed- and welcomed- smile and laugh. Thanks!!

  3. 7th Woman says:

    You had me there for a moment with the title. I thought it was MY husband complaining about MY little hockey addiction.
    (I’ve also seen this one with golf clubs.)

  4. MulletMan says:

    And I thought the article was about me. I was wondering how you got a hold of my letter.

  5. Jeremy says:

    I would recommend that you seek some counseling…
    a crack in a brand new stick can be emotionally taxing.

  6. Percocet.

    Percocet. Percocet addiction.

  7. Estradiol. says:

    Estradiol.

    Estradiol.

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