From the Mouths of Babes

I hope they don't do this

I hope they don


Certain members of OFB are thrilled that the Capitals are starting auditions for the Spirit Squad today. My only hope is that the Spirit Squad has a blog, similar to the Nashville Predators Dancers and Goal Girls, or the Blue Crew’s audition blog. Where else could we gain insight into the challenging world of fan experience enhancement? Cue Christina from the Blue Crew, who speaks to the skating portion of their auditions:

One of the drills was a familiar but dreaded hockey drill called Mountains; although, some hockey players refer to them as Suicides. It consists of hard skating back and fourth, stopping at each line, and always returning to the goal line without resting. I heard some girls breathing heavily and fatigue was setting it but I took it as an opportunity to finally regain some body heat that was lost due to our attire.

A guy would read this and see nothing wrong with it, but women would easily read between the lines for what she’s really saying: she’s in great shape, too bad for the losers who can’t handle a little exercise.
On to the trivia portion of the competition:

Some of the questions ranged from naming some of the newly signed players to explaining the physics behind laying ice.

Now I’m impressed: Blue Crew members have to know the physics of laying ice? Does that question come up a lot?
On to some role-playing exercises:

After dancing, we moved onto the improv portion. We all partnered up (a veteran with a new girl) and drew a strip of paper out of a hat. On the strips of paper were different scenarios that can possibly happen during a Thrashers game and we would have to act out a scene. One girl would have to act it out the wrong way and the other girl would act it out the right way…My strip of paper said, “You accidentally spilled a Thrashers fan’s drink,” while some other strips said, “You threw a t-shirt out in the stands and it hits a fan in the eye.”

In Washington, the answer to either of these hard-hitting social issues is simple: you immediately hire a lawyer, because you’re going to get sued for damages.
As for the Preds Dancers and Goal Girls, after seeing some of the pics of their photo shoot on the blog, I’d like to know how they define a “healthy breakfast.” I just don’t see those ladies chowing down on a stack of pancakes.
H/t to Canucks and Beyond and Puck Daddy.

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8 Responses to From the Mouths of Babes

  1. J.P. says:

    I know there are a lot of words in that post, but I read “Girls… breathing heavily… body heat… strip… act out a scene… One girl would have to act it out… while some other strips.”
    😉

  2. NS2NOVA says:

    See that’s the difference between men and women. We just take things at face value. Women look for some deeper meaning behind it all (even when there is none).
    😉

  3. hockeygrl76 says:

    ugh…

  4. Gustafsson says:

    Who says you lose the essence of a book when you read the Cliffs Notes?
    JP’s Cliffs Notes version was right to the point.

  5. doughless says:

    i posted this in repsonse to yesterday blog RE: this issue. Same applies here:
    i am still not understanding Ted’s desire for a “Spirit Squad.” What did he NOT SEE during the Flyers playoff series that demands a squad to lift the spirit of Caps fans?? Don’t know about you all, but the only “Spirit Squad” Caps fans need is the one that is going to step out onto the ice at the Phone Booth on October 11 (and raise Lord Stanley’s Cup in the near future). Come on Ted, enough with this gimmick (#2 behind Bettman’s gimmick)!!!!

  6. mark says:

    If you can’t answer the question about laying ice, read The Physics of Hockey. It’s good, even though I’ve always hated science. http://www.amazon.com/Physics-Hockey-Alain-Hach%C3%A9/dp/0801870712/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220473874&sr=8-1

  7. Grooven says:

    The audition you describe sounds similar to what the Caps Crew went through 10 years ago.
    A big game of “Who’s Line is it Anyway” to foster the improv side to be able to help with entertainment and to help with the problem-solving and crisis defusing.
    Instead of suicides, the crew was on the ice at the same time zambonis were circling to get used to the rhythms and patterns, communicating in the noise, being on ice while working…
    And dougless: in response — think of it as an improvement on the group that’s been doing the t-shirt shooting in recent years which has been a kind of haphazard thing as opposed to a group with a bit more training.

  8. Dan, Jr. says:

    Although I’m sure I’d enjoy the scenery at the tryouts, I hope they don’t find anybody they feel is suitable, and shelve the whole stupid idea.

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