Charmed, I’m Sure

Ooh, the All-Star logo

Ooh, the All-Star logo

Given Puck Daddy’s recent obsession with Alyssa Milano’s touch clothing line, I figured it was time to take a look. I saw her MLB designs last year, and wasn’t hugely impressed. So when I initially heard about her NHL offerings, I wasn’t compelled to run over to the NHL Shop website and see what ridiculously expensive delights awaited the female fan. That is, not until Puck Daddy featured some of her fashions.
And what a treat they were! How fortuitous that the Capitals were among the privileged teams worthy of her designs. I almost pulled out my credit card for the $59.99 “ruffle full zip hoody” after reading the description:

“This cute NHL¬Æ women’s full-zip hoody from “touch”‚Ñ¢ by Alyssa Milano is made with a soft, stretchy blend of cotton and spandex for long-lasting comfort and durability. It’s fitted to complement your feminine shape and has decorative ruffle detail on the hood and sleeve cuffs. The highly detailed team-colored logo is embroidered on the upper left chest.”

It’s what I always wanted in fan gear- a cute ruffled sweatshirt. Just like Ovie would wear! Never mind that the sweatshirt really only has a tiny team logo on the front and features what I can only assume is touch’s philosophy all over the back: “To rally for each other…To play fair…To dance with life…” Yes, whenever I think of the Caps or the Leafs or the Rangers, I think about how they dance with life. Not the Penguins, though; they weren’t deemed worthy of Alyssa’s attention. (And can anyone please tell me where “BostoSan Jose” is?)
I will give her credit for the raglan top, which isn’t hideous, despite the stupid side rouching to “accentuate your feminine shape.” Of course it isn’t available for the Caps (not that it matters, since I wouldn’t be buying it anyway), but not all is lost: it’s available with the 2008 NHL All-Star logo! Awesome!
At least Alyssa’s line isn’t full of pink and it uses the team’s actual colors, I’ll give her that. It’s clear who this clothing is really geared towards: the guy who’s trying to get his non-hockey-fan girlfriend into hockey, or the non-hockey-fan girlfriend is trying to impress her boyfriend by showing a modicum of support for his team. Why else would everything be so form-fitting, in this age of muffin tops and bat wings? It’s not to say that female hockey fans eschew all feminine hockey wear; personally, I’m a fan of the female-cut jerseys. I just wish that designers of team clothing would realize that not everything has to be cutesy, pink, or rhinestone-studded.

This entry was posted in Puck Bunnies, Puck Daddy, Washington Capitals. Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to Charmed, I’m Sure

  1. Grooven says:
    So I guess the babydoll is what the woman would switch to in the commercial about fantasies when the guy is wearing the goalie pads and the woman is in the French maid outfit? Cuz that just screams hockey to me. 😐
    [admin edit: Image included because Grooven would probably want it that way]

  2. Gustafsson says:

    I wonder why the following “Touch” item was not available for all teams?

  3. hockeygrl76 says:

    hahaha! I love DC Sports Chick! At least we women have SOMEONE to look out for us and write about how corny most of this stuff is! I don’t get it…why don’t people (men in marketing for sports teams) understand that real female sports fans aren’t into this. Give me something that will really show off my team spirit…not my tatas…

  4. cows3500 says:

    come on Liz, tell us how you really feel 😉

  5. show me some spirit says:

    Must they be mutually exclusive?
    Team spirit and tatas go well together, except for the Capitals’ Ice Girls.

  6. Before me in this comment thread, I see very viable replacement banner motifs for OFB.
    Alyssa, you are aging very well.

  7. Scott in Shaw says:

    My wife loves hockey and also likes to dress in a way that makes her feel sexy (“shows off her tatas”?). If you told her she’s not a “real female sports fan,” she’d probably knock you out with one punch. So, shuddup.

  8. Paul says:

    Wait, there was a logo on that shirt?

  9. Carmine says:

    I am a female hockey fan and I like to dress in something that makes me feel sexy. I guarantee ya I am not going to spend my money on that crap she is selling for the NHL, and MLB, etc. Who over 30 would wear that stuff? Someone please tell me how old Alyssa is? That clothing is trashy and cheap looking and probably fades after two washings. There is nothing wrong with wearing a sweater you like and a Caps cap. OR your regular Semin jersey.

  10. NuftGoddess says:

    Thank you, DC Sports Chick!! Love your blogs!
    @hockeygrl76, i totally agree. Its nearly as bad as pink jerseys!!!

  11. Thanks, hockeygrl76 and NuftGoddess! 🙂

  12. nuftjedi says:

    @nuftgoddess she’s still hot though 😛
    …but not as hot as you are in one of your jerseys 🙂

  13. Grooven says:

    @ Gustafsson:
    Regarding the item in the picture you posted to which you’re inquiring…
    Are you wondering why Alyssa Milano isn’t available for all teams?!? 🙂

  14. Mistymay says:

    I’m sensing some of you women just don’t have the bod to pull off these outfits. Now for us over 30 women who do…..I’ll be picking up the Kings top, if it’s available for the Sharks that is and wearing it with pride to the Tank. I’m a size 00 and proud of it. Perhaps you ladies might want to see Alyssa’s offers something for the plus “gals”.

  15. chanuck says:

    Honestly, I think think the some of the items available are pretty hot (club scene), but seem to be angled to a certain age group (under 25). I mean if you wear it and you are over a certain age, you kind of look like your job involves a pole or you are Lindsey Lohan’s mom.
    I believe the point is that there are some women that want to support the team, but don’t want to look like they are trolling the bars for husband number 3. Or wear the cutesy pink and rhinestone stuff like a teenager. I think the underlying tone is that she wants something that looks good on a working professional Mom. That is all they are asking.

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