George Carlin is dead at 71. His heart failed him over the weekend, though his mind was still brilliant and his motivation to call B.S. on, well, everyone was strong to the end.
He skewered every foible and convention of society during his long career with his incisive wit and envelope-ripping delivery. Yes, even hockey:
“People think hockey is a sport. It’s not. Hockey is three activities taking place at the same time: ice skating, fooling around with a puck, and beating the sh*t out of somebody. If these guys had more brains then teeth, they’d do these things one at a time. First go ice skating, then fool around with a puck, then you go to the bar and beat the sh*t out of somebody. The day would last longer, and these guys would have a lot more fun.”
“Another reason why hockey isn’t a sport is that it’s not played with a ball. Anything not played with a ball can’t be a sport. The only other place you’ll find a puck is in the urinal to control the smell in the bathroom.”
As Tim Parent put it at The Bleacher Report, “So when you’re standing at the urinal today, think of George Carlin. He’d probably like that.”
Farewell George ‚Äî hope you enjoy that big Mongolian Cluster@#$% in the sky.