Trevor, the Morbidly Obese Goalie

From time to time, we get emails from our readers informing us of hockey tidbits or other happenings that we might otherwise miss. Some are blog worthy, some are not. Our most recent email comes on the heals of OFB’s first book report. Mr. Leonsis assigned us our next book by sending us a link to a book expert in the Wall Street Journal.
In his latest book, Andy Roddick Beat Me with a Frying Pan: Taking the Field with Pro Athletes and Olympic Legends to Answer Sports Fans’ Burning Questions, author Todd Gallagher tackles some of sports more thought provoking questions. One such question is why an NHL team has not dressed an obese goalie to completely fill the net so the opposition couldn’t possibly score?
Gallagher investigates the legal, medial, physical and practical issues the question raises. Finding a morbidly obese goalie is a challenge, so he has a special-effects guru construct a fat suit to replicate such an “athlete”.Andy Roddick Beat Me With A Frying Pan - by Todd Gallagher

The only way to fully test this theory was to get an NHL team to shoot against the faux fatso. My esteemed editor, Jed Donahue, got in touch with a fellow Georgetown graduate who was doing nearly as well as he is: Ted Leonsis, billionaire owner of the Washington Capitals, whom the Sporting News once called one of the twenty most powerful people in sports. Leonsis, who made his fortune in the world of telecommunications and technology, is a bit of a visionary. And while his vision may not have originally included allowing the professional hockey team he owns to take slapshots at a guy in a fat suit, he saw the potential and gave the stunt the green light.
With a team of highly skilled shooters in place, we needed someone to get in the suit. I certainly wasn’t going to do it (insert fake injury/ailment/note from my mom here), so I enlisted George Mason University goalie Trevor Butler.

The experiment was obviously conducted before the end of last season, but the reactions are no less funny.

Their reactions were even less encouraging than Johanna’s icy responses were. Most players wanted nothing to do with an elephantine goalie. Defenseman Ben Clymer was so ashamed of being associated with the tub that he tried to identify himself with a fake name (he used center Kris Beech’s). Winger Dainius Zubrus put it bluntly: “It would be embarrassing if there was a goalie that big.” Defenseman Steve Eminger confirmed my worst fears about how our big man would be received when he said opposing teams would simply try to run him over in the net. The Real Kris Beech had an even more depressing comment for our new star: “You might spear him and see if chocolate came out.”

The excerpt is a great read, and while this may be the only hockey reference in the book, it is one I look forward to reading.
Our thanks go out to Ted for the heads up.

This entry was posted in Dainius Zubrus, Ted Leonsis. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Trevor, the Morbidly Obese Goalie

  1. pepper says:

    With all the tired, worn-out, never- funny-to-begin-with potshots at the NHL (and Canada, for that matter) littering this excerpt, it was a difficult read, to say the least. And making light of the Beltway sniper incident was a class act too. Did Tony K assist in writing this?

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