Only God Can Save Baseball in Baltimore

History — of the lurid, malicious, nauseating, revolting, and unfathomable kind — was made at Camden Yards Wednesday afternoon.
Photo by Nick Wass/AP
According to ESPN, Texas’ 30 runs, 27-run victory represent the great smackdown in baseball since 1897. That’s the nineteenth century — two centuries ago. To put the Rangers’ 30 runs in a single game in perspective, if you had Paris Hilton passed out in a frat house of 30 on a Saturday night immediately following mid-term exams, only 29 brothers would score (one or two on average would be gay). Lest you think we’re making up this sordid number, here’s the boxscore.
Just to be clear: it wasn’t the ’27 Yankees who demolished O’s pitching Wednesday; it was 54-70 Texas.
This will be the Orioles’ 10th consecutive losing season under Peter the Ungreat.
Peter Angelos
Success or failure in a professional sports organization begins at the top; in this regard, Caps’ fans are quite lucky. And with this in mind, Skins’ fans shouldn’t chuckle too vociferously at the O’s mess Wednesday; their band leader is every bit as bad, and likely worse, than the Inner Harbor’s trial lawyer who should himself be on trial.

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13 Responses to Only God Can Save Baseball in Baltimore

  1. WFY says:

    Let’s hope he doesn’t! Go NATS!

  2. Gustafsson says:


    Anyone got the Ravens’ number?: The Baltimore Ravens, who play across the parking lot from the Orioles, haven’t allowed 30 points since Week 12 in 2005.

  3. Rage says:

    The Os are the only historically bad team in the Mid-Atlantic this year. And yes, GO NATS! I can’t wait to see what Capital Punishment is going to say about this.

  4. SovSport says:

    My, oh my! Vogs and I are taking a field trip to see the Os tonight. Are we in for another (anti)record?

  5. Good news D — quality beer can still be found in the Yards. (You just need a lot of it to stomach the home field product.)

  6. SovSport says:

    don’t drink and drive

  7. OrderedChaos says:

    ESPN was as shocked by the score as we were. So much so that they’ve compiled a Top 100 All-Time Beatdowns. Mostly sports, but a few classics slipped in like “Sonny at the toll booth.”

  8. TG says:

    I grew up an O’s fan (with no baseball in Washington and such). But once Angelos fired Dave Johnson, I gave up on the team. And I’m not going back until he sells the team. Or dies. Doesn’t matter.
    And although the Redskins haven’t done well under Snyder, in my book he’s miles ahead of Angelos if, for no other reason, because he actually TRIES to win. Sure, many (most?) of his moves haven’t worked, but he at least gets points for attempting to make the team better.

  9. ThunderWeenie says:

    Damn…doesn’t feel so bad to be a fan of the under-achieving Blue Jays anymore, somehow.
    Still won’t be any playoff baseball in Toronto this year, but that’s another story.

  10. chanuck says:

    HaHaHa, Angleos blows.
    Go Nats, Go Jays!

  11. ThunderWeenie says:

    …and as for the ESPN article, my personal favourite of their “all-time smackdowns” was: “The Ice Age over the Dinosaurs.”
    He he.

  12. bobbinette says:

    Hello from an old fan from Montreal. We do miss baseball a lot up here, but if baseball doesn’t have a real cap soon, baseball will slowly die.

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