Avert Your Eyes — Hockey Jersey Mishaps

We’re going to be taking a look at revamped hockey sweaters this week, so let’s start with the bottom of the barrel with some bizarre missteps. It’s just a sampling, by no means comprehensive; we’ve skipped some of the NHL “classic” blunders like the Canucks’ Flying V, the Islanders’ Fisherman, or the California Golden Seals.
Here’s a sour fashion note almost sung in St. Louis — there but for the grace of Mike Keenan (perhaps his best-ever coaching decision):
St. Louis Blues Rejected Jersey
This Nordiques jersey was nearly ready for the 1995 season, but missed the league deadline for alterations. Yet another example of messing with a classic for no good reason other than, presumably, selling more jerseys; thankfully this one disappeared when the team moved to Colorado the following season.
The Almost Nordiques
Even referees are not immune to strange jersey decisions, such as this eye-bending display (complete with what looks like a Post-It note requesting “Fair play… please!”):
Awful Referee Jersey
We don’t know who these poor players are that wore this rootin’ tootin’ travesty for the Quad City Mallards, but they look none too happy about it:
We complete the oddness odyssey on a high note, with a neat design by artist David Sands for the Ninja Sloths: Silent (and slow) but deadly.
Silent, Slow, and Deadly
If you can’t get enough information about sports accoutrements, check out Paul Lukas’ Uni Watch, a goldmine for the sports uniform obsessive. For additional hockey jersey mishaps — the minor-league promo entries are truly hideous — check out these posts on the recently-deactivated Sidearm Delivery (R.I.P.).

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18 Responses to Avert Your Eyes — Hockey Jersey Mishaps

  1. Jesse Hightower says:

    I can’t believe the NFL is going to allow the “C” on the jerseys. I think Jason Varitek’s “C” on the Red Sox is hella-stupid. I can’t wait to see more jersey designs. I’m kind of a sucker for obscure sweaters. I actually bought a fisherman’s jersey on clearance because it was so ridiculous.

  2. odessasteps says:

    a couple days ago on Uniwatch, someone posted a link to a slideshow of bad/wacky hockey sweaters.
    there’s one I would have loved to have gotten: the Batman-related jersey for the Toledo blades. Sadly, I may have had the chaance to see it in person, since I was going to grad school at BGSU during that time period.

  3. OrderedChaos says:

    Odessa, I think I’ve heard about the Batman jersey but have never seen it; peruse Sidarm Delivery’s four posts of goofy jerseys, perhaps it’s in there…
    Jesse, I must admit I own a Gorton’s Fisherman jersey for that same reason. Plus it’s fun wearing it to the Phone Booth when the Caps play the Isles with “ISLES SUCK” in masking tape plastered across the back. šŸ™‚

  4. Tapeleg says:

    I like the Ninja Sloths one. I could show up at work wearing one of those.
    “Hey, TL, what team is that?”
    “This is the Ninja Sloths.”
    “OK. Whatever.”

  5. marberthenad says:

    i vote for ninja sloths too – sens unveiled new jerseys tonight – not too much new. though still looks too much like an ad for Trojans … http://senators.nhl.com/team/app/?service=page&page=MediaGalleryPlayer&galleryId=2208

  6. odessasteps says:

    here’s the link to the Uniwatch slideshow on wacky jerseys.

  7. Yngwie says:

    How about these for tragic? Taking the most successful colors in world and following the sellout route – tragic. At least they finally atoned for this sin…

  8. DD says:

    Ninja Sloths? That may be the best name for a hockey team, no for a SPORTS team, ever.

  9. Maine BlackBear says:

    The Ninja Sloth is wicked cool, and it’s Maine’s colors! The Mallards jersey is HORRIBLE! Whoever designed that jersey deserves a slapshot to the teeth.

  10. Jean says:

    I’ll see if I can find a link to a photo, but the Munich Ice Bears had special edition jerseys two years ago for Oktoberfest – they were silkscreened to look like lederhosen. It has got to be up there with the top ten most bizarre jerseys in history.

  11. Teal says:

    That Quad City Mallards jersey was a one time auction jersey. It raised alot of money for a good cause.

  12. J says:

    Yeah, the good cause was Howard Cornfield’s wallet.

  13. MiCHO says:

    Great post! If I had a picture I’d send you a look at Wayne State University’s “third jersey”. It’s beautiful cross between pea soup and gold with a giant “W” on the front. Very impressive.

  14. Thanks MiCHO! Sounds like I’d love/hate to see that Wayne State sweater. šŸ™‚

  15. Dan says:

    HA!! I play for the Ninja Sloths!

  16. Clay says:

    The 1996 Blues sweaters were ugly all around. Apparently Mike Keenan didn’t put his other foot down. He was a horrible coach in St. Louis.

  17. John says:

    i think vintage ice hockey jersey is beautiful, my family are all like them very much.

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