If I Were a Hockey Player

OnFrozenBlog #22 SweaterJes at Hockey Rants started a hockey meme this week. Its theme: “If I Were a Hockey Player”. This is somewhat similar to our OFB All-Time Five back in December where we solicited reader input and tallied the votes. Many hockey bloggers have chimed in, including:

OFB is relatively new, and we thought we would sit back and enjoy the view. That was until Japers’ Rink called us out. Since there are four of us blogging, we’ll post our individual responses as comments to this post. And to spread the virus, we’ll have to tag the DC Duo of DCSportsChick and 1/2 Asian Man. Also, someone should really tag Paul for pointing at the sandbox, but not playing in it.

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5 Responses to If I Were a Hockey Player

  1. Gustafsson says:

    Going old school here:
    Team: Washington Capitals
    Uniform Number: 16 (obviously)
    Position: Right Wing
    Nickname: You don’t choose your own nickname
    Dream Linemates: Mike Gartner & Dave Christian
    Rounding out the PP: Scott Stevens, Rod Langway (I know… not really PP guys, but why the hell not)
    Job: two-way forward
    Signature Move: Shorthanded Goals
    Strengths: Shooting, Faceoffs, Passing
    Weaknessess: Strength
    Injury Problems? knee/leg
    Equipment: Full visor, Joffa helmet
    Nemesis: Denis Potvin
    Scandal Involvement: Improper acceptance of free Guinness
    Who I’d face in the Stanley Cup Finals: Detriot Red Wings or Edmonton Oilers
    What I’d do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Drink Guinness out of it
    Would the media love me or hate me? indifferent

  2. OrderedChaos says:

    Team: Kansas City Penguins
    Uniform Number: 42 (R.I.P. Douglas Adams)
    Position: Left Wing
    Nickname: (teammates decide)
    Dream Linemates: Dale Hunter, Mike Bossy
    Rounding out the PP: Bobby Orr, Al MacInnis, Martin Brodeur
    Job: score
    Signature Move: Inside-out move leading to backhanded goals
    Strengths: wristers & backhanders; creative passing; bull along the boards
    Weaknessess: positional play (need a defensively responsible center linemate); booming but inaccurate slap shot
    Injury Problems? knees… after all my first ACL tear occurred while playing hockey IRL
    Equipment: Yes
    Nemeses: Skeletor; Gary Bettman; Darcy Tucker
    Scandal Involvement: The lack of scandal involvement is positively scandalous
    Who I’d face in the Stanley Cup Finals: Montreal Canadiens
    What I’d do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Take it to Heidelberg, Germany, and fill it with Schlosser Alt bier
    Would the media love me or hate me? local: love me; everywhere else: love to hate me

  3. Sherry says:

    “Also, someone should really tag Paul for pointing at the sandbox, but not playing in it.”
    I think somebody already has actually. We must now all just wait in anticipation 😛

  4. spark says:

    Team: Winnipeg Jets
    Uniform Number: 72
    Position: Offense-minded d-man, PP quarterback
    Nickname: teammates would decide, but considering my last name it’d almost assuredly be “Sparky”
    Dream Linemate: Scott Stevens
    Rounding out the PP: Mario Lemieux/Wayne Gretzky, Mike Bossy, Brendan Shanahan, Martin Brodeur
    Job: fly through the air with the greatest of ease
    Signature Move: meh. I’d think good players work, they don’t rely on a trick or two
    Strengths: creative passing, positional play, anticipation
    Weaknessess: not overly tough, mediocre slapper, unexceptional dressing room presence
    Injury Problems? back, wrists
    Equipment: Cooperalls
    Nemeses: Martin St. Louis, Gary Bettman
    Scandal Involvement: Dumping Denise Richards for Jennifer Connelly
    Who I’d face in the Stanley Cup Finals: New York Rangers
    What I’d do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Take it with me camping in Northern Ontario, drink a few Labatt 50’s out of it, fall asleep beside it with Loons crying on the lake. (Why are you looking at me like that?)
    Would the media love me or hate me? Depends: Does the media like cliches? That’d be me I’m afraid.

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